Rules for Marriage

I’m going to be upfront with you here: this post has nothing to do with travel. To continue with the honesty, it’s probably not realistic to pretend that this blog will be solely about traveling. My mind is far too ADD for that.

Those of you who have read previous posts know that I have been taking this off month to clean out boxes – sorting, looking through, and throwing out old things. Most recently, this project took over my email inbox, and I began to clear out unnecessary messages.

In the process, I found a real treasure: an email that included a “list of rules to marry Lauren” that I co-authored with an ex-boyfriend … in high school.

Bravo, high school self. You were wise.

Rules to marry Lauren:
1. Can only make out with Lauren.
2. Can’t take other people to prom. Unless it’s our daughter.
3. No contracting AIDS.
4. No extra-marital physical or emotional relationships.
5. No addictions (Including video games. Guys’ nights are fine, but no obsessive addictions).
6. No killing Lauren in her sleep. Or our children.
7. No alcoholism, chewing tobacco, or illegal drugs.
8. Live where the Lord leads.
9. Must compete at the highest level of salsa dancing.
10. Can’t be boring. Must go on many adventures.
11. Must watch sports. Must attend baseball games twice a year and buy Lauren frozen lemonade.
12. No divorce.
13. No mutilation of significant other.

Ok, so maybe I was a bit pessimistic about relationships. But I thought of some important things, right? Also telling were the two (yes, only two) rules that he included for me:

Rules for Lauren:
1. Can’t call everyone friend.
2. Can’t have a top 5 favorite people.

Apparently I was a rather hateful child.


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