Seeing as actually traffic laws are considered mere suggestions to be laughed at here, I figured I would offer you some insider thoughts from the front lines of the Jakarta traffic scene. The following are some solid observations that I have compiled after 3 months of driving here. You know, in case you get lost and accidentally end up puttering around Indonesia in the near future.
1. Speed bumps solve all problems; the more, the better. There is no upper limit to this law.
2. Round-abouts are not meant to be used correctly, but instead as an object lesson in Darwin’s survival of the fittest.
3. If you are crossing the street, git out tha way!
4. It is completely unnecessary to heed those behind you.
5. If there is traffic on the road, you may drive on the shoulder or grass to speed things up.
(This is actually quite convenient. I am going to miss it.)
6. Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, line up efficiently at the toll booth.
7. If you are pulled over (this will most likely only happen if you are white), offer a bribe.
(This will also be missed. The bribe part. Not the racial profiling part.)
8. You may use your horn only to warn people that you are going to run them over.
9. If you do not approve of the direction of a one-way street, simply drive the other way.
10. And finally, Elf would so wisely say, “Watch out! The yellow ones [onkots] don’t stop!”