“Miss Lauren, would you date an Indonesian man?” my nothing-is-too-personal-to-ask-the-teacher class inquired as our lesson was winding down a few weeks ago.
“Excuse me?” I respond, taken by surprise.
“Would you date an Indonesian?” they question again.
“Sure, I don’t see why not.”
That answer gets them all excited and chattering.
“OH MY GOSH CAN WE GO ON THE DATE WITH YOU?!”
I forgot to mention – this is more of a mass student quote.
Shooting them an incredulous look, I clarify: “You honestly think I should take all 24 of you on a date with me and my hypothetical future Indonesian boyfriend?”
“YES!” (Think of how Will Ferrell would say this in Elf and you’ve got it about right.)
“We could translate for you!”
“You guys… I’m not going to go out with a guy that doesn’t speak English. And I’m definitely not bringing you all on my date.”
At this point, I have a mental picture of myself and mystery man at the movies with three rows of 7th graders behind us. Or on a hike with a Pied Piper like following straggling behind. It strengthens my resolve.
“Oh…” Their obvious disappointment doesn’t deter them for long. “Well, can you bring him to class so we can be, like, protective brothers and sisters and interivew him?”
And this, my friends, is the story of how my students manipulated their way into possessing interview rights over any poor victims of my Indonesian love life.